Hello All,

Just been to LidI and they cost me 1.89 each just for sad fun heres
the bar code "20113513" and they came with rice, is this the same one!

hang on just noticed it's 450g pack made by noon products
middlesex UB2 4NA.

Was your Korma by noon products?

graeme.

This link and text is here because some mad curry lovers
posted that they really wanted to try this out, no way!

First is the text, then at the bottom of the page is the link
much respect to the author...ouch...

So here we go,...cant say much more just take time to read it all,
if you dare!

.................................................................................

Abdul Latif - The Lord of Harpole, will not be held legally responsible if your arsehole falls out the bottom of your trouser leg after eating Curry Hell.

I was kinda surprised this morning when I realised there is another blog on the web with extremely similar name to mine.

http://spacehardware.blogspot.com/

It's cool, written by a dude from Newcastle in England's northeast.

Reading through it reminded me of one of my favourite travel adventures which took place in this under-discovered city.

I was on my way from Manchester to Edinburgh when I decided to put in an overnight stop in Newcastle Upon Tyne. Why? Aren't all of northern England's cities just industrial shit heaps? To a certain extent they are, I mean places like Widness, Bradford and Hull are a sad blight on a potentially breathtaking landscape.

When it comes to The North, you have to force yourself to forget the fact that just about every street looks like a dingy Surry Hills back alley and instead focus on the salt of the Earth warmth of the inhabitants. Northerners are fifty times more friendly than their southern English counterparts, and infinitely so compared to Londoners. It's Rugby League territory after all! The industrial revolution came and went, as did Maggie Thatcher, both beating down the locals who throughout it all, never lost their dour determination and raffish charms.

I pulled into Newcastle late in the afternoon. I've always had a soft spot for Newcastle United FC so I went down to their home ground, St James's Park and had my photo taken holding up a copy of that other great Newcastle institution, Viz Comics.

I've been reading Viz since I was sixteen, it is home to the greatest comic strip ever devised - The Vibrating Bum-faced Goats.

In recent years, Viz has featured numerous ads for a place in Newcastle called the Rupali Restaurant, home of Curry Hell, the world's hottest curry. Eat it all and it's free, if not you pay ?6.95.

The foodies out there will know that Indian/Bangladeshi curries are not really meant to be all that psychotically hot, the practice of setting fire to people's stomachs is something that has emerged to cater to the dim-witted drunken English geezer's wanton need to harm themselves with hot food - hence we have Curry Hell.

You can see where this story is going. After heading back out of town to take some photo's of the amazing Angel of the North, I dumped my shit at the hostel and headed on down to the Rupali, slightly concerned that the next time I "dumped my shit", I would need a fire extinguisher to deal with the situation.

The Rupali is run by Abdul Latif, The Lord or Harpole (a peerage he actually purchased somehow). I recognised him instantly after seeing his picture in Viz for so many years. Originally from Bangladesh, Latif came to Newcastle in 1969 and "fell in love with the people, not the business". He opened the Rupali in 1977.

He greeted me warmly and noted my accent, "So another Aussie is here to take my challenge? I do warn you, if you die whilst eating my Curry Hell, your next of kin will have to pay for it."

Challenge Accepted.

Those who know me are aware of how much I sweat when I eat hot food. I LOVE hot food; Thai, Indian, Mexican, Korean. It just appears that I've dunked my head under the tap after one bite.

My Curry Hell appeared with a side order of pappadums. The waiter smiled at me and wished me luck. I mixed a few of the red/brown chunks onto my pappadum and raised it to my lips remembering an old issue of Viz featured the disclaimer that, "Abdul Latif, the Lord of Harpole takes no responsibility if your arsehole falls out the bottom of your trouser leg after eating Curry Hell."

So, how hot was it?

Take a whole handful of those lethal orange chillies, mash them up and drown them in Tabasco sauce. Add some Korean Kimchee and wrap the whole concoction up in newspaper, drown it in petrol and set it alight.

Then imagine that intensity of heat and multiply it by a thousand. You're getting somewhere near to the temperature of Curry Hell.

The waiters gathered around for their usual cack attack over anyone who tries to eat it but I couldn't really understand them. Geordie accents at the best of times are indecipherable but chuck in a Bangladeshi lilt and I was lost. I DID keep hearing "stupid bastard Aussie" over and over again though.

I'd downed three mouthfuls so far and was starting to sweat through my polo neck sweater. Most people manage about the same before chucking it in, not this soldier.

I bought a couple of mandarins from the local Sainsbury's before I arrived and in between gulps of water I threw down a few pieces to take the edge of the heat. It wasn't much use, it was like the older Helicopters water bombing the Sydney bushfires. I needed one of those purpose built "Elvis" and "Georgia Peach" water bombers.

By my sixth mouthful I had tears streaming from my eyes and rivers of snot pouring out my nose. I was sweating more than Luther Vandross during a second encore and worst of all, I could feel my stomach preparing to stage a revolt against the working conditions I so cruelly placed upon it.

Time to throw in the towel. I had a nasty premonition that I was going to need a towel to wipe my arse once this napalm-like curry made it's way to my lower intestine.

The Lord of Harpole only poses for photographs with people who manage to eat the whole lot but he and his staff were impressed with my dogged determination to get as far as I did. That and well, not many Aussies have taken on the challenge so far and he was quite chuffed that someone from the other side of the world was able to recognise him.

I posed for my photo, paid my seven quid and legged it back to the hostel and to the sanctuary of the dunnies.

The squeamish should stop reading NOW!

It was my first dump of the day, so I had the morning's porridge to unload first. Imagine one of those Nascar/Speedway races where the competitors are all jammed in behind the pace car, ready to put their foot down as soon as the signal is given.

Well, my hard and nuggetty porridge turd was the pace car and once I managed to wiggle that out the exit chute, the competitors in the Newcastle Curry Hell 500 came flying out of the blocks, hell bent on breaking the Darp's anal passage land speed record, last set by a nasty case of food poisoning due to a dodgy Thai Green Curry at Prasits on Crown Street, Sydney.

The first burst was pure liquid, my body was punishing me by re-routing the normal flow of excrement and choosing to piss out my arsehole. Oh, the pain of it all!

I graduated to the radioactive sludge stage after about five minutes, my poor ringpiece gradually resembling a burning tyre. Each new contraction brought fourth a new spray of bum nuggets and gravy and a subsequent sob of agony from yours truly. These were communal dunnies so every now and then someone would open the door, loudly sniff the air and promptly scarper.

A good half hour went by when I felt that the worst had past. Next challenge was to wipe my freckle without messing with its structural integrity. One wipe told me that I needed to jump in the nearest shower and deal with the situation - eyes closed.

Up with the shreddies for a most uncomfortable walk back to my dorm to grab my towel.

I dumped my boxers in the bin afterwards.

Go to Newcastle, it's great!
........................................................................................................................
the site was...

http://isitwrongtowishonspacehardware.blogspot.com/2004_08_08_isitwrongtowishonspacehardware_archive.html

its the first story dated : Thursday, August 12, 2004.

to see a pic and check out the site copy and paste
above into browser, then hit go.

pls note:
this is not the curry hell web site, its the site
that the text was taken from.

graeme.

Hi all,

Well myself have nothing to report positive at all.
Still cooking mind you, last nights meal was beans and tom's on toast,
my local take away is taking the mick! with its new tom soup version of a curry.

What I could say is that my local has taken its eye off the ball,
the main man been there for years (approx 20) and
used to run a good show, with the curry like a brown
sludge and full of spices, not like tomato soup.

Once he came in at about 9:30 and they all jumped up
and went round asking how things were etc...I hope the rest trade
ain't going to be left to this lot, Oh and they play top 40 euro songs
how bad is that!! until I asked them to switch it off!!

graeme

I wasted 12 years of my life using his first book,
total waste of time. One dish did work once
a oven mad-arse however thats bad if
only one or two worked out of his
whole book.

Also has anyone also noticed Keith Floyd never does rice or breads?

He never even apologizes for the fact this food is missing
from his show,?do you think he simply does not like doing it
or don't they cook rice and bake bread in India ?

I always enjoyed his television shows but this one?
about cooking around India is more than a little
repetitive. I recorded the whole lot a few month ago
and noticed a pattern of some of this, and a little bit of that etc
going on.

I have never seen him make the garlic and ginger paste,
rice, breads, starters, deserts and side dishes (relish etc)
this would have made the show better by far.

If I am wrong sorry have I missed it, did i blink.

Please don't flame me!

It's simply something I have noticed, after all it is a cookery program
and would like to ask what others think.

I still like Keith Floyd for showing us diffrent kitchens etc
just, why is the above missing from the show.

If I am wrong please delete this post asap,
and sorry for me making a complete fool of myself.

cheers, Graeme.

(just seen the positive post on floyd below, sorry. I'm in for it now)